Posts

Red flags that you are dealing with a narcissist

  1. Hypocrites - They set rules for you but break those same rules for themselves. 2. Want to Control you - Right from the way you dress, to whom you meet, what you eat and what you say in a gathering, every little detail would be monitored and without realizing you would be feeling super anxious around them because they control you so much 3. Find fault and move goals posts - This leaves you feeling like you are never good enough and you are always bending backwards to try and please them and achieve their impossible standards of perfection.  4. They will not self reflect or take accountability for the horrible things that they do - They would be guilty of doing the exact same things that they are accusing you of doing. If you point out their mistakes they would get defensive or even get into rage tantrums or passive aggressive attacks.  5. You feel drained out after every interaction with them- You may be having a great day but after an interaction with a narc, you ma...

Activate.You Testimonials

  From Narc Abuse Survivors- Individual Coaching Clients "     I do see all your posts and I can only say that you are a messiah for the bruised souls of narcissistic abuse victims. Each of your posts are subtle, heart touching and very true. The world needs more people like you who took the noble initiative of standing next to narcissistic abuse victims and supporting them. This itself is great in every possible way and we bless you from the core of our heart. " "You are doing a fabulous job of taking up the issue of something, which majority of the world isn't even aware of." "After speaking to you I felt like someone finally validated my reality. For the first time after so long , I felt that there is hope and I can get myself out of this situation. Thank you so much for the coaching sessions . I cannot express how grateful I feel after the sessions. It felt like a huge burden has been lifted off my chest and now I feel so free. I am actually able to enj...

7 Things to not tell People who have estranged from their Parent or Parent In law

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Societal conditioning makes it easier for us to digest when a parent chooses to cut out their adult child for any reason. We justify that the parent has done a lot for the child and yet the child has been abusive toward the parent or in some instances even due to marrying someone else out of their religion or community or for coming out with a confession about being Gay or trans sexual or not adhering to religious beliefs etc, some parents have cut off their adult children. Such actions by the parents are met with approval and sometimes even sympathy for the parent and this is more culturally acceptable.  But what about when an adult child chooses to estrange from a toxic parent or parent in law? This is such a taboo even today despite so many psychological interventions and research available to everyone.   It is met with shame , disapproval and judgement and as a society we are conditioned to question such actions. Even religious texts talk about how deeply grateful one...

How to navigate life with emotionally manipulative and abusive family members

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 Most of my clients' main issue is how to set boundaries and deal with a toxic family member- a toxic parent, toxic partner, toxic adult child, toxic siblings or toxic in laws. The struggle is real and in South Asian cultures and Indian culture , we are conditioned as a society to put our family first and to ignore red flags and dysfunctional behaviour. We are conditioned to make excuses for a toxic family member's bad behaviour with excuses like " They are your family" or "They have no one else so you can't abandon them" or "They have had a tough life so try to be forgive them and be kind" or" You will regret it when they die" or"Think about your kids" or "Log kya kahenge"? . The excuses are many but you get the idea right?   You can try having a healthy conversation about your needs and emotions with toxic family members- That is a necessary first step. But if it falls on deaf ears and if toxic , manipulative beh...

Sarah's story- Toxic Mom in law and enmeshed Ex husband-Narcissistic Abuse Series

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  Hello there! If you happen to visit my blog, maybe you were looking for red flags of abuse or trying to understand what narcissistic abuse is all about. I'm currently working on a book called "The Long Journey Home" where I will be sharing survivor stories to create more awareness and also to teach self healing techniques. If you are someone who is affected by verbal, emotional, psychological , financial or physical abuse- please know this -  You do not deserve to be abused and you deserve to set boundaries and heal from your trauma .  As a narcissistic abuse recovery life coach, I help my clients to identify red flags of abuse, set healthy boundaries and reclaim their life by starting out their healing journey. It is a transformational journey and one worth pursuing. You don't deserve to live in pain and shame of being abused. You can open up and share your stories with me and I will help your story to reach out to the world through my blogs and my upcoming book. I...

Stop people pleasing !!!

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Are you a people pleaser? Do you tend to put others’ needs before your own needs?  Do you feel bad saying No to others? Does your self esteem depend on external validation? Do you value your self esteem as per what others think or say about you? Do you feel like you can’t be yourself around others? Do you tend to bottle up your emotions and then break down unexpectedly ? If your answer is a Yes to most of the above, it is highly likely that you are a people pleaser my friend! Did you know that your unresolved emotions can set like cement inside your body and start showing up as health issues? Not a great feeling and how do I know this? Because I myself am a recovering people pleaser !! If you develop thyroid issues, First question to ask yourself is this-  Do I tend to suppress my emotions? Do I struggle to speak my truth? When your throat chakra gets blocked , it shows up as thyroid issues and you can medicate yourself all you want but unless you start speaking up about yo...

Decoding the Secrets of Healing post Narcissistic Abuse- Tips from Real Abuse Survivors !

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  As a narcissistic abuse recovery life coach, I have been working closely with many brave survivors of abuse, who have decided enough is enough and are working hard to reclaim their life post abuse. It takes immense amount of courage and hard work to do the inner work that is required to heal and recover post narcissistic abuse.   As a part of my research for my upcoming book on abuse survivors’ stories, I have been asking around in the abuse survivor groups and my clients to understand what has really helped them to heal and recover post narcissistic abuse. Keep watching this space for more updates on my upcoming book- The long journey home and also for tips to heal. Below is a quick summary of my findings and these are real tips from abuse survivors and not textbook information: Therapy/coaching - Many have confirmed that having a mental health partner in their healing journey has helped them immensely to hold them accountable, create more clarity about their next s...