Narcissistic Abuse - The transformative healing process

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 Healing from deep seated trauma is very painful , messy and non linear.




Once you go through soul changing trauma of narcissistic abuse, you can't just forgive and forget , dust yourself and move on. You can't expect to go back to who you were initially before the abuse happened to you. Trauma changes your brain and you need to work hard to consciously rewire the abuse patterns that are recorded in your body and your mind. But it is possible to heal.
Each time a bad memory pops up, you are actually reliving that painful instance and your body doesn't know the difference between the actual event and the fact that you are simply just recalling it in your mind . Your body sends a message to your brain that you are not safe and you go into fight or flight mode. Prolonged exposure to narcissistic abuse can have adverse effects on your physical and mental health.You will feel like your heart is cut into million pieces and you need to figure out how to put yourself back together ,piece by piece .You need to go through the process of feeling those uncomfortable emotions ( pent up anger, sadness, shame, loneliness) instead of pushing it aside and minimizing it. Stop gaslighting yourself that you are ok if you are not feeling ok.
When I talk to victims of narc abuse one common thing that stands out is how society still doesnt understand the insidious nature of narc abuse and how victims are forced to stay in denial mode due to lack of support.

Statements like "they are your elders , you just need to keep quiet" , "oh you must put your kids' interests first" " fights happen in all relationships" gaslights the victim's reality and normalizes the abuse and the cycle of abuse continues as the abuser is more aware that the victim is helpless and has nowhere to go.
If you are in your healing journey, I see you ,I'm proud of you and you will get through this. Learn to rely on yourself more and believe that there is peace and beauty in this world post abuse,no matter how impossible and hopeless it may feel at the moment.
Sending lots of love and thanks to the ones who reached out to me to share your trauma and healing stories for my upcoming book. More power to you all.

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