The Long Journey Home

  As a life coach, the most asked question by my clients who are recovering from abusive relationships is " When will I know that I have completely healed ?". There is no clear answer to this and it depends on each person's emotional resilience and the amount of healing work that you are committed to do. Some may heal and move on in just few weeks or months and some may take even few years and some may never completely heal from the trauma of abuse. Healing is non-linear and there will be days when you feel completely healed -on top of the world and  some days when you regress backwards and fall apart again. Stay with the process and trust that you will heal. Do not give up on yourself ! Abuse changes you as a person and you can't go back to who you were earlier even if you wish to go back. A physical wound heals with time and medication but what about your emotional wounds? The more you suppress it, the stronger the pain becomes and it manifests as physical health is...

⭐What is self confidence according to you ? ✅For me- Self confidence is to be able to be myself , try out new things without fearing what others will think about me or say.  ✅It is liberating to know that we don't have to live by anyone else's rules for our lives or live by society's expectations of us. ✅ Self confidence also is accepting ourselves just the way we are with all our flaws.  ✅Self confidence is also asking for what we want without feeling apologetic.  ✅It is living your passion and chasing your dreams. ✅ It is taking care of your physical, emotional and mental health.   ✅As a life coach ,I have been working extensively with clients who along the journey of life may have forgotten their true worth and confidence. Through the process of coaching sessions , we peel the layers of conditioning in their mindset and belief system. We then install a new program of raw, genuine awesomeness , eliminate self doubt and help them to discover their own core stren...

 Did you know that by just thinking about your past wounds or trauma, your brain makes you feel like it is happening to you in real time. You end up re-living the trauma and the pain repeatedly and your body goes into a hyper vigilance mode. Imagine being suddenly faced by a wild animal in a jungle. All your blood rushes into your hands and legs with an attempt to give you the best chance to escape and run away from the danger. That is what happens to your body even in the comfort and safety of your own home, if you just think about your past trauma. Anxiety disorders and CPTSD-Complex Post trauma Stress Disorders can happen to us when there is no real threat but our bodies convince us that we are in danger. You go on about your day in a state of constant stress and anxiety and begin to believe that it is normal to feel that way. Having said that, it is not possible to heal from your pain without validating or processing what happened to you. So if you ask me can you avoid going th...

  Narc abuse awareness series Did you know that Reactive abuse causes extreme guilt and shame in victims of narcissistic abuse? It goes against the grain of who they really are . Most of the victims would have been peace loving , friendly , easy going people ,who after being in a state of hyper vigilance and anxiety for years , due to being exposed to a chronic cycle of abuse , may burst out in rage once in a way when provoked by their abuser and they may say or do things which otherwise normally would never do. The abusers then use their victim's reaction to make them feel guilty about their outburst and keeps them stuck in the cycle of abuse. To anyone out there who can resonate with these circumstances, please know this : 1. You are only human and you are not Buddha to be in a state of absolutely no reaction 2. It is ok to feel the guilt and shame as you move through these complex emotions 3. Never allow anyone to gaslight your reality and threaten you to believe their version...

You Glow differently when your Confidence is fueled by Belief in yourself rather than relying on External Validation. There is a very fine line between having healthy self-esteem and unhealthy self-obsession and arrogance(bordering on narcissism). Many clients ask me how to know the difference between these.  In my experience as a coach, I have come across many who dim their own sunshine for fear of upsetting or hurting those around them.They are sometimes even afraid to shine more than others. They play victim or play small and forget their own true worth. They value their own worth based on the validation that they get from others.  They live a life where they are on a constant treadmill of trying to please those around them and in the process get exhausted and have nothing to give themselves. Through the coaching process and deep questioning , we peel those layers of deep rooted fears and work on rebuilding their self esteem. It does take time to do the inner work that is r...

  True belief can make you sail through difficult times in your life. Was recently watching a Ted X talk of one of my coaching batchmates were he had mentioned Tirupati...Took me back to my own childhood , when I used to visit Tirupathi with my grandparents /parents atleast 2 or 3 times in a year. My childhood is filled with memories of tons of such pilgrimages and countless visits to temples. Looking back now I feel truly blessed for having had that opportunity in my childhood. My faith in this particular God, Tirupathi Balaji was so high as a child, that I had insisted on donating my hair to God to cure some skin rash that I had developed suddenly on my hands. My parents had taken me to a lot of doctors who weren't sure how to cure or help me. Later when I visited Tirupathi for one of my cousin's tonsure ceremony ( shaving hair and donating it to God) is when I got a strong feeling that even if I did it , God would cure me . I was maybe 4 years old at that time. Elders around...

  Healing from deep seated trauma is very painful , messy and non linear. Once you go through soul changing trauma of narcissistic abuse, you can't just forgive and forget , dust yourself and move on. You can't expect to go back to who you were initially before the abuse happened to you. Trauma changes your brain and you need to work hard to consciously rewire the abuse patterns that are recorded in your body and your mind. But it is possible to heal. Each time a bad memory pops up, you are actually reliving that painful instance and your body doesn't know the difference between the actual event and the fact that you are simply just recalling it in your mind . Your body sends a message to your brain that you are not safe and you go into fight or flight mode. Prolonged exposure to narcissistic abuse can have adverse effects on your physical and mental health.You will feel like your heart is cut into million pieces and you need to figure out how to put yourself back together ...